Cooler Heads Prevail

I pride myself on trying to come up with cheesy headlines I feel could be used by sports columnists the morning after a ballgame. Although I struck out on this mornings local Sports sections, the headline will remain here.

In the Twins first game back from the All-Star break they went down to Texas and beat the Rangers 5-3. It was good to see Alexi Casilla pick up where he left off before his heading to the minor leagues a few months ago (0-4 on Friday night). I'm not going to say that the Twins necessarily need Casilla to have a solid second half of the season in order to win the division, but it's more about the amount of guys they can afford to have in the lineup hitting below .240. It's obvious they need a guy that can hit for average and play second base or shortstop. Ideally, the Twins would like to have Punto return to his form of 2006 where he essentially played every day and hit .290. That's not going to happen this year, so unless Casilla picks it up, we're looking at middle infield combo of Punto/Tolbert/Harris.

I've already convinced myself that the Twins won't make any worthwhile trades before the July 31st trading deadline. The Twins are a "professional sports organization" version of me. They only do what is necessary when they have to. Much like when my bathtub was leaking into the woman's condo below me. If it was up to me, I would have let that bad boy leak until my bathtub was laying on her couch.

In the four years I've been living in my condo I've only had one leaky pipe, and as much as it burned me to spend money on something I didn't have control over, I fixed it the correct way by having new piping put in, followed by replacing the ceiling. In other words, the right way to fix a problem. The Twins on the other hand seem to have a few leaking pipes every year and their solution year after year is to put a slab of Big League Chew over the leak in hopes that it holds. Every now and again that piece of gum will keep the leak in check for the rest of the year, but let's be honest, the Twins have been on the good side of the bursting pipe gods too many times. Doing things on the cheap will get them burned and if things aren't going to change by the time the new stadium opens next year I have a feeling there will be a lot of rain delays. Only that won't be rain coming from the sky. That will be the leaking bathtub of the late Carl Pohlad as he sits over Target Field.

Record: 46-44

Flu Like Symptoms and One Special Weekend

Joe Mauer reportedly has been ill for more than 1 week and yet he continues to be as unstoppable as ever. I'm contemplating starting the .400 tracker, but I feel it must off until at least mid-July. Last night Mauer went 4-4 and raised his average to .429 on the season. He still is a few at-bats short of qualifying for the batting title, but once that day arrives he'll most likely be at least 40 points ahead of the second place guy.

So I spent last Saturday at Wrigley with my Dad on what I would call a great father-son bonding experience...one every father and son should share together at some point in life. There truly is nothing like going to a ballgame with your Dad and talking about in-game scenarios, how the Twins should kick Delmon Young to the curb, or even how a cement pillar in my sight line couldn't upset me at that moment. To top off the great experience the Twins won the ballgame 2-0 which prompted us to find the local bars and celebrate.

I'll always remember that weekend as one of my favorite times together with my Dad before I get married this August. Some day I'll hopefully be able to share a weekend like that with my son.

Record: 33-33

Re-Cycling

That's right, the Twins account for half the cycles hit in the majors this year. Kubel got one back in April and now tonight Cuddyer hit his. Kubel got his off a dramatic grand slam. Cuddyer's was off an equally exciting triple.

After tonight the Twins have scored 31 runs in their past two games. Now that's what I'm talking about. As much as I would love to see a pitcher's duel over a home run barrage, I was in the need for a little action, baseball action that is.

Twins win 11-3

Record: 20-23

Opposite field

So the Twins have outscored their opponents 42-36 over the past 7 games, and oh by the way, they had lost 6 of those before finally winning today. Confusing stat? Well not after seeing today's final score of 20-1 against the White Sox. Baseball can be a confusing game, and to think the Twins scored more runs today than they have the past 6 games, just confirms the fact that anything can happen any day. And by anything, I mean Matt Tolbert going yard for his first career home run.

Joe Mauer hit his 8th home run of the year, which happened to be a grand slam. I promise I have not seen the highlights from today, but I'm going to predict that Mauer's home run was not hit to the right side of the center field wall. (I'm going to go watch the highlights real quick...)

Weird, a home run to left-center field. How predictable is that guy with his power? Quite honestly it really impressive how often he goes oppo. I need a stat junkie to find me the answer to highest percentage of opposite field home runs (minimum 100) in baseball history. I know some rube has that useless info somewhere.

The Twins have the Brewers in town this weekend for a quick preview of inter league play. Sports cliche upcoming.....After today, let's hope they have some runs left in their bats!

Count on Mauer for 2 home runs this weekend, oppo style

Record: 19-23

Treading Water

7:40pm CST

The Twinsies are treading water the past week or so. Mauer plays his first game last Friday and hits a home run with his first swing. The team, which is always bigger than the player went 1-2 over the weekend to the Royals and have gone 2-4 since Mauer's return.

Alexi Casilla was sent down to the JV team yesterday. This is move that needed to be made more for Casilla than anyone else. The Twins replaced Casilla on the active roster with Matt Tolbert, who is younger version of Nick Punto. Tolbert is all fundamental, all the time. He won't win nor lose any game for the Twins. Tolbert, much like Punto are guys where you can fill out their stat line before the game starts: 1-3 with a walk, infield single, pop up w/runner in scoring position and a groundout to short where the throw barely beats the head first slide by Tolbert/Punto.

7:56 CST

Mauer singles to tie the game 4-4.

8:53 CST

Twins lose 5-4 and are 2-5 since Mauer's return. I enjoy pointing that out even though I know it doesn't carry any weight.

Record: 13-16

Hot Tips

A couple hot tips off the bat...

-Get Joe Mauer in your fantasy baseball starting lineup now!
-Jose Morales is making a strong case for having the largest differential between offensive and defensive ability in MLB history
-Learned lessons: Never leave a baseball game early, even if you got the tickets for free

An example of that final hot tip:

I know a guy (we'll call him Slick Noffman) who was at the game where Kubel not only hit for the cycle, but hit a grand slam to complete the cycle. To top it off the Twins came from down 9-4 in 8th to win it. What a great game for "Slick to be at, huh? Maybe so, if only he wasn't getting a phone call from his buddy telling him of the unpredictable ending.

Two weeks later, Mr. Noffman returned to where he had left the scene of the horrific accident. Only this time, he would see it through to the end where Justin Morneau hit a walk-off (no, not home run) fielders choice.

The Twins have gone .500 without Mauer and you can bet there aren't any complaints from inside the organization. On a side note, the over/under on Joe Mauer non-baseball related injuries the remainder of the season has been set at 1.5.

Record: 11-11

Start to Finish

For the first time in 17 games, which happens to be every game this season, the Twins did not trail at all tonight. They are very fortunate that their record (8-9) is as good as it is considering how often they have dug themselves a hole.

Looking forward...

Joe Mauer is continuing his dominance of the pimple faced pitchers in minor league "A" ball. Word on the street is that he will be back by the end of the month. Only a couple more weeks before we get to hear Joe Mauer's entrance music again by local artist A&R. I've heard the song, and I'm really questioning the decision making behind this selection. Did Mauer have an agreement with A&R to throw a game last year and when he didn't come through, A&R said "Joe, you know what this means, right? It means you must have the theme song I wrote for you played every time you come to the plate for the rest of your career, and it's going to embarrass the hell out of you."

Here it is!


Back to the team, the Twins are in a good spot...1.5 games out of first place and 2 games out of the wild card lead. It's never too early to start thinking about postseason play.

Record: 7-8

Sexy Baseball Music

First things first, I need to mention that the reason for the blog lapse was due to a weekend vacation in the District of Columbia. I spent the better part of three days letting Bo chase me around the White House.

Now on to some baseball...

I was in attendance last Wednesday when the Twins lost to the Blue Jays 12-2. I really don't want to recap that game, but there was one thing that did catch my attention during the snoozer. When Mike Redmond stepped to the plate early in the game I was shocked to hear a classic 80's tune (or at least according to me). The first question I asked myself was "why the hell is Mike Redmond playing this song"

Here is the music video of the song. Cue the chorus at 1:15...



The song is titled We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off by Jermaine Stewart. The significance of this song to Mike Redmond is that he enjoys walking around the locker room completely naked. I'm not sure why he insists on these antics, but I guess you have to give it to the guy for having the comfort to watch tv, play cards or drink beer while naked in front of 25 other guys.

Although the Twins are 7-7 on the year I have noticed that all of their losses have to come against a division leading team. The Mariners lead the West, White Sox lead the Central and the Blue Jays lead the East. I tend to find obscure stats like these throughout a long baseball season as ways to keep me believing that the Twins are always in contention.

The Twins go to Fenway tomorrow for a grueling 2 game series. I don't know when these became trendy, but why even unpack your bags if you are the visiting team.

That's all for now.

Record: 7-7

Back Home

7:46pm

Coming off a 2 game losing streak the Twins got some offense going again tonight against a pitcher who has nothing on me when it comes to growing the red beard. I really feel like I'm in heaven right now. I'm sitting on my couch, got my Twins hat on, just finished two chili dogs and weiner water soup is on the stovetop for a pre-bedtime drink.

The Twins have a new starter tonight. Brian Buscher is getting his first start of the season tonight. He is the last member of the team to start a game this season. Speaking of Buscher, it reminds me of a lame attempt at joke Dick Bremer pulled off a few years ago. During pregame he said, "tonight we have a (Brian) Buscher, a (Scott) Baker, but no candlestick maker". I can't help but think of Bremer as the Grandpa who comes into the 1st grade classroom at naptime to read Where the Wild Things Are to all the little kids.

10:47pm

The pitching let the Twins down tonight. I think Slowey gave up 14 or so hits in a little more than 5 innings pitched. Toronto has a hell of an offense, it's just too bad they have 3 of their pitchers out for the year with arm injuries.

Twins lose 8-6.

Record: 3-5

Redemption Night

Question: Doesn't it seem odd that a team can be shutout at home against one of the worst teams in baseball from the year before, and then the very next night put up 12 runs in weather of 35 degrees or so against the AL Central division champs from the year before?

Answer: I really have no idea, but I can't think of another team that could pull it off with more success than the Twins.

A few redemption notes:

1. The Twins returned to the site where they lost game 163 last year. The weather seemed to be very similar to the game last October only this time there wasn't Griffey throwing anyone out at home plate or Thome hitting a 500 foot bomb.

2. So the Twins won tonight 12-5 in Joe Crede's first game back in US Cellular against his former team. And how fitting was it that in Crede's first at bat that the crowd gave him a standing ovation. Well, about 30 seconds later Crede hit a homer to left field in which the applause quickly turned to boos. Typical Chicago fans.

Hey, anytime you have a knuckleball #5 starter named R.A. Dickey win a game for you, I'd be draping plastic wrap across the lockers and uncork the champagne like the division has just been won.

Record: 3-2

Injury Showdown

The Twins win a gutty one tonight. I'm speculating on the guttiness of the team tonight since I didn't see the last half of the game. I feel that after years of reading the C Section (no, not the medical procedure performed on expecting mothers) of the Star Tribune newspaper, I've gotten pretty good at analyzing a box score and describing the game as if I'd watched every pitch.

Congratulations to all the fans in attendance tonight for making it through the first Dollar Dog night of the season. I have yet to hear any reports of the fat ass who sits his lazy carcass in Section 234 and eats dogs until he basically has to slide down the stairs to exit the stadium.

Getting back to the game, it sure would be nice to square off against the Mariners all 162 games this year. Yeah, yeah the M's aren't trotting out Ichiro any games this series, but then again the Twins aren't green lighting Joe Mauer just yet. To me, I feel like this should become an unwritten rule in baseball. If a team's star player is held out of a game, the other team must hold their respective star player out the game as well. Also, to make it interesting, each team gets to roll a 30-sided die to see what excuse they will be using to withhold their player. In this case it is the bleeding ulcer vs. the inflamed sacroiliac joint.

Twins win tonight 6-5 and tomorrow will send the pride of Stillwater, MN to the mound in hopes of winning the series.

Record: 2-1

Walk-off Win

Gary Gaetti always said don't leave early because you never know what might happen. Those were the first words out of Bert Blyleven's mouth after a great come from behind win tonight. I'll be completely honest and say that I wasn't planning on writing tonight, but after watching the entire game I would have felt guilty not to. There may not be many games like this one!

Down 5-3 with 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth, the Mariners walked the bases loaded. Next up was Denard Span who chopped a ball high off the turf to the third baseman driving in a run and making the game 5-4. The next batter was Alexi Casilla who ripped a line drive to centerfield scoring two runs to win the game 6-5.

As exciting as the Twins win was tonight, it was almost equally as exciting to listen to Dick Bremer have his first baseball orgasm of the season.

Record: 1-1

Last First Game

**Quick Note: Each home game I'll honor a different forgettable Minnesota Twin who played part of their career in the Metrodome. That means 81 for the entire year. (And no, it will not be hard for me to find 81 forgettable players)

Throwback night apparently. The Twins are donning their 1982 home uni's in remembrance of the first of 28 season in the Metrodome. I take great pride in saying this will be the last time there will be a Twins home opener at the Metrodome. Before the game starts, here are a few of my select memories of the dome...

1. The Rally Room (where you could drink 2 for 1's in the 2nd and 7th innings)
2. The giant Land O'Lakes milk carton in right field
3. In attendance of Chuck Knoblauch's return to the dome. Twins fans threw loose change and dollar dogs at Knoblauch in right field.
4. Walkaway sundaes. Not many games went by where I didn't grab a Walkaway sundae after taking down a few dogs. (This will be one of only a few things I'll miss from the dome).
5. Noticeable football field lines on the outfield turf

Now that the game is about to start I can already safely say that today is better than last year's opening day which brought over 6 inches of snow. Fast forward 1 year and it'll be interesting to see how many days it will take to get opening day in.

• No Joe Mauer for opening day due to his league high 6th career non-baseball related injury.
• Francisco Liriano is toeing the rubber tonight (still a favorite among baseball vernacular) and just shut down the Mariners 1-2-3 in the first.
• Ichiro = bleeding ulcer (I should have used that excuse to skip a few more days in college)

Twins lose 6-1

Record: 0-1

Welcome

I want to make this a quick post and more or less welcome everyone for the first time. The purpose of this blog isn't to attract followers (anyone is welcome), but rather to serve as something to look back on sometime down the road.

A little about me and what to expect (for anyone who doesn't REALLY know me):

1. Baseball was my first love (Sorry Sam, but I know you understand)
2. English is my first language, however I have never received higher than a B grade in any high school or college English class so don't expect poetry or words only Dennis Miller knows
3. I will do my best to post consistently throughout the season. Hold me to it!
4. Favorite quote: "Having dreams is what makes life tolerable" - Rudy

So with all that said, Welcome to the beginning of the last season that the Minnesota Twins will ever play in the Metrodome.